Tuesday, November 3, 2009

They don't need to be taught...

...how to sin.
A: "Mommy, I need you to open the door." (we got a chain lock for the sliding door to our deck after a friend's daughter escaped while she was in the shower...she was fine, but it scared me since Adeline knows how to take out the security bar, unlock the door, and go out to play).

me: "No honey, we are going to stay inside right now. Go play with your friends."

A: "Daddy, can you please open the door for me?"

Pat: "Mommy already told you no, and so you don't come to ask daddy when mommy already answered you. Daddy and mommy will always agree."

A: walks to my right around the table..."Mr Salada, I would like you to open the door please."
at which point the adults in the room are trying hard to not bust out laughing.

Mr S: "Well, Adeline, mommy and daddy already told you, no. So, you probably shouldn't be asking me."

A: Without missing a beat, Adeline walks around to the other side of the table. "Mrs. Salada, would you unlock the door for me, please?"

Mrs S: "Adeline, your mommy and daddy said no. They are in charge of you. You need to obey them. Now, go play."

Content that she had exhausted all her options, Adeline ran off happily and played.


A: "Mommy, can I wear my Thomas shirt today?"
me: "no, you can wear it tonight when you go to bed."
A: "I can ask daddy when daddy gets home."
She clearly missed the lesson from the door incident...

I came home from work and Adeline and her friend, Rock were watching a movie. After they left, we had this conversation...
A: "Mommy, I want to watch the movie again."
me: "No, sweetheart. We only watch one movie a day, and it is all done."
A: "Mrs Fix said I could watch it again."
hmm...somehow I doubt that Mrs Fix, who isn't here, said you could continue watching movies to your heart's content.

Did you notice the theme? This week's Tiny Talk Tuesday focused on recent examples of my daughter lying and manipulating. We didn't teach her how to do these things (although I'm sure we provide examples more than we care to believe). I know this behavior is "normal." I don't think she is unusually rebellious, according to earthly standards, but that's not the standard.

Children are not born innocent. Sure, they don't understand there are things like pornography, murder, and rape. However, we need to teach our children (and ourselves) things like kindness, mercy, self-control, and patience. We don't need to teach them how to lie, cheat, and be selfish. Those things are at our core. These stories are cute, but they also remind me that my heart is rebellious too, and I need the grace of God each and every day. Even though we laugh when their sin is so obvious, it is something to take seriously. I pray that God will soften Adeline's heart and give us wisdom to train her heart to choose what is right, true, and lovely.

Head to Mary's for more TTT...


Monica said...

you are right on with this post. Jordyn will do the same thing if I tell her no, she proceeds to ask Daddy. Gotta give her an "A" for effort with the door story.

Mari said...

I remember my kids doing this too. You're right - it's cute, but it does show the sin we are born in.

Deb said...

This is SUCH a great post, Lynn!
So true. How can some people not see it??
(And I LOVE the part where you & Patrick say "Mommy & Daddy will always agree"...such an important thing to teach!!)

Mrs. Fix said...

I know Adeline will be disappointed that I'm exposing her here, but I made no promises regarding multiple movie viewings.

Great post.

joana ahn said...

well, you know what jesus said, forgive them father for they know not what they do. that's the thing about kids, they don't understand and so they give in to their whims and desires. you are right, we need to teach them, but i don't think they are counted as sinners, or held accountable for their choices since they don't have understanding. so technically they are foolish as opposed to sinners.... i believe they are innocent, but i believe we are born with a fallen nature, so we are inclined to sin. i think we're saying the same thing. i just know in the bible god did not hold the people of israel accountable for their actions till they were 21. the story of the 12 spies and how the people listened to the 10 scared spies. god sent them back into the wilderness and only the ones who were under 21 got to come back, the next generation. they got to cross the jordan with joshua. anyway, i hope i got my story straight. i'm kind of tired and my brain is foggy. love the stories of addeline you have on here. i have ethan again and he's constantly asking me why and trying to get his way being passive aggresive. so i got my hands full with him. :P

Anonymous said...

Okay, on the not so serious side of this conversation.... As you know, Adeline does no wrong in my eyes. I just think she has her Mother's gift of determination. You just have to help her to practice that gift in the right way. Sweet, little girl!


Jen said...

I can so relate - it's amazing how young they develop those manipulative ways - it definitely proves their need for a Savior and reminds us of that need daily. Keep up the good work!

Jenni S. said...

That's so funny -- I had no idea Mary was having a themed Tiny Talk, but it kind of relates to what I posted yesterday about Anna. You all seem to be doing a great job with Adeline, though! way to go Mom (and Dad)!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

Jenni gives this tired mommy of 4 too much credit for a themed tiny talk... *wink. Nope - you had your own theme going there...so true.

We can giggle and laugh, becuase it seems "innocent", but these incidents do reveal the heart of our children, so your responses were dead on. Good for you all and your guests :)

My kids learned about Samson this week. As a Nazarene he could not touch anything unclean, have liquor, or cut his hair. Early on in life he began compromising - drinking wine, eating honey from the dead animal, etc. "Harmless"...no. Ultimately his small compromises led him down such a sad path, even though God still used him in an amazing way.

But when we let the small things slide, they lead to big things.

Yes, keep pressing on - sharpening your little arrows!!!!

Andrea said...

I love when you can actually see their minds working trying to figure out how to navigate the world! Cute stories.

Short Stop said...

Oh, boy - I can relate to this on so many levels. Versions of just about every one of these has happened at or house. It's a constant struggle, and you and Patrick have such a godly approach to raising your children.

I love you.

Amanda Evans said...

Great post, Lynn! So true.

Musicaljean said...

Awesome post, Lynn. Both entertaining and full of wisdom and inspiration.